Random Experiences

I saw these online tonight and thought they were relatively amusing. We’ve all been there before. I have been working on 3 sites all night long and need a break. So what do I do.. I write on another site. Do what you love and never work a day in your life.

afterclap

I have catcher’s mitts for hands so basically cadance is relatively important in matters of applause. Lots of times I will do it just for the hell of it because some people are just under appreciated and that extra confidence will do them some good.

 

ambitchous

I don’t know lol, it seems like there’s a few of these out there. I can’t say I really blame them. The poor things have been burned by guys enough and are on a perpetual strong man competition to out lift the world. You know the type. They’re out reading a million self help books, Love Languages and perpetually angry. Usually, they just need to find someone nice to get rid of that energy. I don’t mind these types oddly enough lol. I don’t think most people get them. Mind you, it’s not the type I typically would go for. How one treats other says a lot about them.

 

askhole

In my industry I get a ton of deer in headlights looks from a-type control freaks. Most recently a date that asked me what I did. That was the wrong question lol she half glazed over mid sentence. Sadly, it’s not unusual for people who have known me for years to ask me what I do. I don’t mind explaining but after a few times it’s kind of you know redundant? I go to meetups once in a while but these sort of types are what put me off them quite a bit. A question or two is great but after a few it’s become a consultation.

bedgasm

I’m totally going to have one of these once I eventually crash here shortly. I’m quite exhausted and it’s been a long week. Accounting and working weekends is amazing I tell you! Someone has to build the future though.

 

beerboarding

I’m really not good at drinking and especially if I haven’t eaten yet. Recently two pints of Guiness in and I was all happy. It was right about then it clued in I better order some food. Fortunately, I can walk from the 17th ave main strip here in Calgary and didn’t have to think about driving. I Googled hoping to find some high amount of alcohol in Guiness but sadly it was only 4% lol. I’ve walked away from wine tasting events completely fine. The only thing I can think of is that Guiness is like a meal in itself and the body probably tries to absorb it. That’s my excuse and I’m going with it. That’s probably about as ridiculous as considering as to whether trail mix was cause of raised testosterone lol. Yes, I actually had a random conversation about this and we landed at it probably was just a sales gimmick because how does one really know? Google doesn’t always tell the truth and who knows this better than us digital marketers?

 

carcolepsy

I don’t know what it is but people fall asleep in my truck almost instantly. It’s like car seats for children. It’s all kinds of hilarious when someone next to you falls asleep with their mouth open at a stop light. I admittedly never fall asleep on planes for this reason. It just weirds me out. Flying to see my sister in Australia will be an experience in a half if I can ever get over the idea of being crammed into tiny seats myself for 24 plus hours. Why can’t China just make some sand bars in the middle of the ocean? The Emirates Air flights with those car bed things look glorious. If a first class flight is like 7 grand I can only imagine what it would be to Australia for one of those suckers. I do know a private jet is 3k plus an hour and that’s way outside my budget as of lately. Besides, they typically fly slower and need to refuel more often.

chairdrobe

I’m often guilty of having a pair of pants on mine. It’s not like a child’s room but hey you know the clothing stand actually meant for it doesn’t need to actually be used right? Neuroplasticity may have passed me by on that one.

destinesia

This moment of complacency often hits me hard after hitting Facebook, kitchen or grocery store. There’s just so many things to see. You know you’re guilty. The worst is when you click back to share a Facebook article and the feed refreshes kicking you to the top of the feed and you’re mindlessly trying to find it. When you have like 700 people on your list among a ton of news feeds this can be all kinds of brutal among web professionals. It’s not quite as bad as when a relative I’ve never heard of completely buried my FB galleries with likes and commented on almost every post. I admittedly had to block them. It’s my work and I honestly have no idea who they are other than some distant cousin a millionth removed.


dopplebanger

OK, they say people date others that look close to them or related. Personally, I find that really weird. I looked at the shape of faces though and wondered if it was a reproductive thing. Is someone with a similar cranium most likely to be a better fit? They suggest perfect asymmetrical faces are attractive but what about relatively shaped? Narcissism has been suggested but I don’t think so. A lot of these people have apparently been shown to have the same DNA. Doesn’t everyone though? I mean how close? It’s pretty amusing to see couples that look like they’re related.

dudevorce

As a guy these things are short lived. As kids it starts with the gloves dropped and ends in good friends. Most of my friends are for life. Friends are family to me but honestly few make the grade. Loyalty is really big.

epiphonot

If you’ve ever been on one of those dates where you’re feeling like you’re talking to a kid you’ve been there. The only time I ever feel like that is insane scripting languages I’m completely unfamiliar with talking to a group of people that are like the Oracle in the Matrix where you’re like did that just happen? To be good at this sort of thing you need to breathe it. Personally, I know enough to be a great integrator but have generally not been too interested in knowing it intimately. ┬áIt affords a decent lifestyle and the experiences in between that make it attractive. Working towards innovation and general passions is what draws me to it.

hyberdating

It’s been a long time since this but the last time I did that was quite a while ago. It’s a bit of a mistake to isolate yourself from everything else especially in a new city. I have my own interests and things these days but at one point romantic minded and naive thought your best friend could share most things together. When that ends so do most connections. Not a great way to go. Travelling the world with someone amazing definitely sounds amazing though. I got a random message from Miami the other day. Should I be weirded out or did the site just glitch? It’s not quite as bad as the time I uploaded an image and a random woman’s photo showed up. I’m sure they had all sorts of freak outs over that one. I was tempted to upload something bizarre but knew once they patched it would likely go back to me lol.

internest

LOL, I’ve been pretty guilty of having a cell, iPad, and laptop around me. I often work with Netflix on in the background. I grew up in a house with 3 little sisters and then naturally my parents which made noise feel more like home. Typically periods like now I’ll have something like Songza or Youtube streaming music. I’m not sure why it’s comforting but it is. How do people sleep with their headphones on or the tv going? I always am abruptly woken up.

masturdating

OK, as my friend J knows it’s not good to leave me alone in restaurants. I tend to blog about it later and never forget lol. I don’t like sitting in restaurants alone unless there’s a great view. However, when it comes to movie theaters these are amazing alone. As an entrepreneur I’ve been known to go downtown for a matinee which is always discounted and have the entire theater to myself. How do people not know about this? Seriously, try it one day if you get an afternoon off mid week. I admittedly haven’t done this in quite a while but the idea of an empty theater is way better than obnoxious people talking and on their phones.

nomynym

Wait, shouldn’t this be a picture of chicken?

nonversation

The 60 mins feeling of crossfire or more like the inquisition date where you just ask questions to keep it going because it’s just dull. You know the entitled type that just expects to be entertained and has no thoughts of their own. Those are brutal. There’s not too many people in the world I can’t talk to but it does happen from time to time. Dating should be an exchange not an interview.

texpectation

I’m up late so it’s not unusual for someone to lose consciousness lol. The worst is when it’s an awkward moment and then you don’t hear until the next day.

unkeyboardinated

I learned many a time not to script too late at night. You end up making bizarre mistakes. It’s not unusual for me to work on 2 plus sites at a time. The issue arises when you copy code over to the wrong site by accident. You can imagine the confusion on one’s arrival to find bizarre unrelated text in there. I only had this happen with a client once and it was one time too many. We had a good laugh but ya pass on that!

unlightening

Well, I have to say my current neighbors. I live downtown inner city not far from a popular area known as 17th avenue in Calgary and it attracts everyone from the affluent to the incongruent. It’s an area of transition and gentrification. One condo is 900k, and the one next to it 500k. It’s a little bit of anarchy and with that brings the brilliant conversations. The lady next door is all kinds of brilliant. She can be heard in all sorts of capacities. I’ve heard her talk about how she was still spry, that she, “Seen it,” and would tongue wrestle some random. It’s around that time I turn up my music. City life is a little too close together for me. I grew in a small town despite being born in Vancouver and prefer a bit of space between myself and neighbors. Why can’t my neighbors be talking about something interesting? If you’re going to be loud at least be interesting lol.

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